We thought we were so smart. A few months into our second pregnancy, my husband and I relished in the fact that we had timed this pregnancy perfectly. By the time the baby would be born, our son would be three, well on his way to being potty trained (if not already there) and we would have oh so few issues - because he'd be three.
Did I mention that we thought that we had timed this perfectly?
Anyone reading this who has more than one child is rolling with laughter right about now (as is my mom, even though I am an only child) and as it turns out, I am relatively sure that God is having Himself a pretty good chuckle right now too.
You see, the past few months have been a very somber reminder in my house that we are not in control and as much as we make plans and hastily hope that they are the right plans, ultimately, we are not the ones holding the blueprint.
I realize that this revelation isn't a new one. However, as I sit here in the pitch dark of my living room - eyeballing the hallway to make sure that my son doesn't get out of bed for the ump-tenth time tonight - there seems only to be light coming from my laptop monitor, while in truth there is endless light coming from another source in our home.
That source is Jesus Christ.
Truth be told, He has put a tremendous amount of light in my son. I have had to remind myself countless times recently that there is more to my son than the occasional temper tantrum and the absolute refusal to go to bed when I ask him to. I am truly convinced that he has the heart of a servant. In fact he has a huge heart. He is always concerned about the well-being of others above himself (yes even at his age), he is always eager to help you or ask you if you would like a snack too and this age has also brought him the ability to tell you randomly that he loves you before he offers you a kiss.
Needless to say, there is no perfect timing when it comes to bringing children into this world - they come in God's time only - and I find myself humbled (and a bit humiliated) for even thinking that just because my son didn't go through the "terrible twos" didn't mean that he wasn't going to have challenges at some point. (Insert God's sense of humor that it happens when I am eight months pregnant and new to being a stay-at-home-mom!)
So, here we go. There are merely two months until our new addition enters our family and I have come to terms with the fact (at least for the time being) that this isn't going to easy, but one thing is certain, it will be perfectly imperfect and that is fine with me.